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Slow Tony Fabulous

Wildwood Names Beach Near Sewer Pipe “The Chocolate Jacuzzi”. Marketing Cheaper Than Health Infrastructure.

Updated: May 31

The beach at Spencer Avenue has been renamed “The Chocolate Jacuzzi” by the Wildwood City Council.  A high volume sewer pipe was installed after The Wild Burrito began selling The M.O.A.B. (Mother Of All Burritos) at the corner of Ocean Avenue.  Beach goers at the site have reported returning from a swim covered in “chocolate” …hence the new name.

 



When asked why the township chose to run a pipe into the ocean instead of more robust sewage collection and filtration system, Councilwoman Anu Sfartez commented that “Advanced filtration systems are fucking expensive.  A fun name like “The Chocolate Jacuzzi” will ease people’s minds and create a fun atmosphere at low cost.  Maybe we can even bring in some big sponsors like Hersheys and Godiva.  Problem solved.”

 

Many Wildwood taxpayers have stated their appreciation for the councilwoman’s fiscal responsibility but expressed strongly that this might not be the best way to cut costs.

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